I'm a Stefan stan with Stefan x Damon otp;) I shipped Jeremy/Tyler in season 1 until the show broke them :( I used to like Elena but the writers have ruined her character imo. Now I just her far far away from the brothers.
The fandom is mainly on tumblr by tracking your favourite ships/characters (mainly ships, this coincidently is where most of the ship wars take place) Unfortunately, nearly all the comms are delena centric but I've found that the most friendly is tvd-fans, and tvd_slash has some good damon/alaric bromance fics :)