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BRB, LOLing
I really wished I hadn't used "What is my life, guys" for my last title because I keep coming back to that, both for real and fannish reasons.
On the fannish side, I just finished a 7,000-word Charles/Erik oneshot that I'll probably post next week because it needs some polish (and a title, THESE ARE SO HARD FOR ME). It's not one of the pieces I mentioned in my last post, it's something I came up with and started over Labor Day. So it's separate from the 21k and 11k XMFC WIPs I have. Right now, I'm concentrating on finishing the 21k WIP, but I'm a little worried to start posting it because it's one of those ridiculous ideas I never thought I'd write but now I have. (I have a hint: my current shorthand for this story is hilarious mpreg. GUYS, IDEK.)
And then today, I had the MOST HILARIOUSLY AWKWARD conversation with this girl at work. We tend to hang out casually and eat lunch together most days. She's getting married this fall and we were talking about that. Somehow we got onto the topic of how all her closest friends, male or female, end up falling in love with her. AND THEN, she said that her fiance has been concerned that I'm going to be the next victim of her ~mesmerizing~ presence and fall for her and have my heart broken over her like another friend of hers who's all upset that she's getting married.
And then my friend was like "Yeah, but I've been dialing it back when we're together, making sure that I don't turn it on too much. I've been careful with you."
And then I was like, "Well, hmm, for one, I am not attracted to women in general, so I don't think this is a problem." And then she was like, "Oh that doesn't matter, straight women have fallen in love with me, too."
GUYS, IDEK. Because what I'm really thinking is "I don't really think you're that awesome, so no worries" but there's just NO NICE WAY TO SAY THAT. So I'm like, "Um, let's just say I'm secretly pining for this other friend of mine and call it a day, okay?" Because I'm not sure what else to do? How do you assure someone you're not nor will you ever be in love with them when they think it's a foregone conclusion that you would be if they subjected you to the full force of their personality? Inside, I was pretty much "BRB, LOLing FOREVER" over it, though, even though I know I should be offended on some level. A lot of her assumption is that my life is lonely and pathetic (like she describes her other bff who's supposedly in love with her) and that I am starved for affection/attention so, of course, I am overly attached to her. But since none of that is actually true, I was too busy LOLing to be offended. But, ugh, so awkward. There are conversations you never imagine having on your lunch break and that is one of them.
(Also, in describing this convo to someone in IM, I added: I think part of it is her thinking she's so awesome but part of it is also thinking I'm so pathetic that ofc i am just dazzled by her, and I think it's a mark of someone who can't understand that I have a dazzling inner life that satisfies me emotionally -- some people need sex for that, I need tumblr.)
And? I have an exam tomorrow. OMG WHY DID I GO BACK TO SCHOOL?!?
Anyway, I hope everyone else's life is as hilarious and productive as my life, but without the awkwardness, unless you're into that kind of thing. :D
On the fannish side, I just finished a 7,000-word Charles/Erik oneshot that I'll probably post next week because it needs some polish (and a title, THESE ARE SO HARD FOR ME). It's not one of the pieces I mentioned in my last post, it's something I came up with and started over Labor Day. So it's separate from the 21k and 11k XMFC WIPs I have. Right now, I'm concentrating on finishing the 21k WIP, but I'm a little worried to start posting it because it's one of those ridiculous ideas I never thought I'd write but now I have. (I have a hint: my current shorthand for this story is hilarious mpreg. GUYS, IDEK.)
And then today, I had the MOST HILARIOUSLY AWKWARD conversation with this girl at work. We tend to hang out casually and eat lunch together most days. She's getting married this fall and we were talking about that. Somehow we got onto the topic of how all her closest friends, male or female, end up falling in love with her. AND THEN, she said that her fiance has been concerned that I'm going to be the next victim of her ~mesmerizing~ presence and fall for her and have my heart broken over her like another friend of hers who's all upset that she's getting married.
And then my friend was like "Yeah, but I've been dialing it back when we're together, making sure that I don't turn it on too much. I've been careful with you."
And then I was like, "Well, hmm, for one, I am not attracted to women in general, so I don't think this is a problem." And then she was like, "Oh that doesn't matter, straight women have fallen in love with me, too."
GUYS, IDEK. Because what I'm really thinking is "I don't really think you're that awesome, so no worries" but there's just NO NICE WAY TO SAY THAT. So I'm like, "Um, let's just say I'm secretly pining for this other friend of mine and call it a day, okay?" Because I'm not sure what else to do? How do you assure someone you're not nor will you ever be in love with them when they think it's a foregone conclusion that you would be if they subjected you to the full force of their personality? Inside, I was pretty much "BRB, LOLing FOREVER" over it, though, even though I know I should be offended on some level. A lot of her assumption is that my life is lonely and pathetic (like she describes her other bff who's supposedly in love with her) and that I am starved for affection/attention so, of course, I am overly attached to her. But since none of that is actually true, I was too busy LOLing to be offended. But, ugh, so awkward. There are conversations you never imagine having on your lunch break and that is one of them.
(Also, in describing this convo to someone in IM, I added: I think part of it is her thinking she's so awesome but part of it is also thinking I'm so pathetic that ofc i am just dazzled by her, and I think it's a mark of someone who can't understand that I have a dazzling inner life that satisfies me emotionally -- some people need sex for that, I need tumblr.)
And? I have an exam tomorrow. OMG WHY DID I GO BACK TO SCHOOL?!?
Anyway, I hope everyone else's life is as hilarious and productive as my life, but without the awkwardness, unless you're into that kind of thing. :D
no subject
She was a Queen Bee - if she wasn't swarmed by admirers, she wasn't happy. ~ People falling "hopelessly in love with her" were her sustenance, in a sort of narcissistic/sadist way ( "Your tears, they are so delicious.") I was, in fact, dating women as well as men at the time, but I knew her far too well to be attracted to her - and she could NOT accept this. It was completely DOES NOT COMPUTE - and it was funny, really, to see how hard she suddenly worked to charm me. (She accused me of being "hard to get" just to torment her, which was even more hilarious ( as I was usually the one outside in the cold, pressing my face to the window-glass looking at all the pretty people.)
A second possibility is that your "friend," with her wedding approaching, wants to sow as many of her wild oats as possible before she's theoretically cut off.
And finally, it's possible that she doesn't have this other mythical lovesick BFF; it's possible that she's actually hitting on you because she's bi-curious ( see impending nuptials above) or because she genuinely wants to nibble on your tender flesh but is afraid of rejection ( and so making her seem like Aphrodite incarnate is her way of marketing herself.)
But, in short; I think it's her, I don't think it's you.
*Huggles in an only slightly-inappropriate way*
no subject
I definitely think my friend suffers from a bit of the Queen Bee syndrome. I do know that this friend of hers actually exists; I think my friend is someone who has a strong personality and attracts people who like to follow, you know what I mean? I, however, am not one of those. I'm not necessarily a leader but I'm not looking to be someone's follower either. I think she's very either/of and can't accept that I'm not A or B, I'm C. I don't need the power of her ~magnetism~ to make my life less dull, either, which I think it's hard for an extrovert to understand about an introvert.
no subject
Oh, absolutely.